


Terms and Conditions Apply

by ordinaryxtreme



Category: Kuroko no Basuke
Genre: Failed Attempts at Humor, Gen, No pairings - Freeform, but there will be lots of hints, i am very bad at summaries so it might be a little misleading sorry, just the gom boys getting into daily shenanigans, loosely based on friends, roommate au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4528086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordinaryxtreme/pseuds/ordinaryxtreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi Seijuro recently gained possession of a whole flat. Of course, knowing him, instead of letting it be a waste of space he decided to rent the rooms out for extra cheap. But this was Akashi Seijuro. There's no way he would do something without himself gaining anything. HIs future tenants obviously didn't know what was coming as they dissmissed the 'terms and conditions apply' sitting inconspicously at the bottom corner of the newspaper ad.</p><p>Chapter 12: Aomine does not like his job and, just in the nick of time, Kise happens to be hiring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Akashi Started It All

Akashi Seijuro took 'terms and conditions apply' to a whole new level when he put an ad on the local newspaper of two-person units for cheaper than standard rent. The new tenants had absolutely no idea what was coming. He smirked to himself at the thought as he viewed each of their personal information. One of his conditions was to send in an email describing themselves. It was much like a resume, except that work experience was not relevant. It was merely telling something about themselves personality wise, their current occupation, and also including when they would be available to move in. Other details were optional. Some of them had contacted him with a lot of questions about it and some others just went with the flow. Of course, now that it had come to this, about 50 potential tenants applied, he was only willing to shortlist the most interesting ones.

Aomine Daiki, police officer, available to move by the start of next month

Midorima Shintaro, college student and doctor-to-be, available to move by the start of next month

Murasakibara Atsushi, baker, available to move in by the start of next month

Including himself, that made four people. Maybe he had set his standards too high.

No, it did not matter. For now he would be putting Midorima and Murasakibara in separate rooms until he found them their 'appropriate' roommate, while Aomine would room with him. Yes, that was one of his conditions. He had the privilege to put them with a person who they'd normally despise. Of course, they had absolutely no idea about the ‘despise’ part of the arrangement.

He only had to keep the ad on for a few more days, optimistic he'd find the perfect candidates.

Just as he had thought, a few days later, two days to be exact, another interesting application came in. The description was straightforward. This person seemed like a very ordinary man. But there was something about them that pulled Akashi in.

He trusted his eyes and, for this rare occasion, his gut, as he verified and accepted the application.

Kuroko Tetsuya, preschool teacher, available to move three days after the start of next month. He didn't state his reasons, but it was irrelevant.

By some stroke of luck, at the end of the same day, Akashi received another application by the name of Kise Ryota. He knew this man. Kise was currently rising in his modelling career. Someone in the show biz would be quite an interesting addition. He was only available on the ninth of next month due to work reasons.

Kuroko would have to live alone for a while. In the meantime, he would pair Kise with Midorima. Would they get along? Well, that again was absolutely irrelevant. He just wanted some entertainment, pretending that he, in absolute fact, did _not_  purposefully orchestrate this entire set up to pair each person with the least compatible partner. Was that wrong?

He smirked when he saw two new applications in his email.

This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! My first ever multi-chapter fic for this fandom! It started cos of my desire to put these characters in an unescapable situations. This is a trial chapter, meaning depending on feedback I may or may not post the rest. I'm a bit insecure about how interesting this will be. If it's positive enough, I'll post the next within three days. I have pre-written about six chapters and I'll tell you about update schedules in the next. Thanks for reading, hopefully I'll see you in three days!


	2. Nothing Tastes Better Than Burnt Carrots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kise learned to never ask Midorima to cook again.
> 
> Or, Midorima came really close to burning the flat down.

Kise Ryota has just moved into his unit, roomed with the distant (and not to mention, arrogant as shit) Midorima. The first few days were rough since Kise liked living free and Midorima was adamant on adhering to strict house rules, but they somehow made it through the first five days. They both had an equal share of chores, though in the end, Midorima always cleans the spots Kise missed while chastising him about basic cleanliness. The taller man always fusses about wrinkles in the carpets or the bedsheets but honestly, Kise could care less. It was one of the things he hated about the other and that list was steadily growing. That list also included Midorima's hoarding problem, wherein Kise had to make space for the superstitious man's (useless) lucky items.

That day, Kise had just came home from his modelling work. He had been out from before dawn and he was beat. Despite Midorima's adamancy of not wanting to be on cooking duty ever in exchange for doing both their dishes, that night Kise pleaded and pleaded, putting his pretty face to good use. A chorus of "Pretty pleaseee Midorima!!" along with a lot of mostly bullshit excuses and bribes and an abundant amount of hugging, playful hitting, and crocodile tears went on for almost thirty minutes (Kise’s new record), before Midorima snapped.

It was surprising to say the least. Midorima was among the calmest of the flat's residents and to hear him shout (and quite angrily at that) was a real shock to the blond. "Ugh, _shut up Kise! You’re being a nuisance!_!"

Not only was his name shouted with such venom, but he was also pushed harshly to the floor by a fuming Midorima. The still standing man grumbled something as he fixed his slightly askew glasses, leaving the common room and locking himself in his own. Kise was left on the floor, feeling quite hurt both physically and psychologically. After a few minutes of quietly rubbing his bottom to soothe the pain, he sighed, stood up, and walked into his bedroom, also proceeding to lock his door.

Plopping himself on his bed, he mumbled, "What's his problem?"

As he idly analyzed the state of his room (the cleanest room he'd ever lived in), he suddenly recalled what Kuroko said when he gave Kise a rundown about the other flat residents. "Midorima-kun isn't a pushover, but if you try hard enough, sometimes it is rewarding. His patience runs thin fast when he's had a bad day. But either way, I advise you not to annoy him too much. Excessive persistence may hurt you."

He brought his hands to his face and laughed at his pathetic self. Maybe he should've been more mature. He wasn't considering Midorima's feelings at all.

"So it's my fault, huh? I guess I have to order take out for now."

Just as he was about to pick up his cell phone to place an order at the local pizza joint, he smelt something weird. More specifically, smoke. "I thought the surrounding areas didn't allow smoking?" He thought and proceeded to check his open window. It wasn't the source of the smell. Besides, it didn't smell like tobacco smoke. But then how else would the smell have reached inside this unit?  Unless...

"Oh my god, WE'RE burning!" He gasped and swiftly exited his room to find smoke in the common room. In a panic, he looked around for the source, and if there was a fire, he would quickly extinguish it. Surprised was an understatement when he saw Midorima in the kitchen frantically filling drinking cups and splashing the content on the fire, which apparently came from a flaming pot atop the equally flaming stove. The fire was really _really_ close to spreading to the wooden counter and consequently, the whole kitchen.

"Midorima, wha-?" His question was cut when said person noticed him and hurriedly instructed him to get the big bucket in the bathroom and fill it with water. He did just that, knees shaking as he waited for it to fill (why was it taking so damn long?!). When it was filled he carried the whole thing, the weight didn't feel like much because of the adrenaline, and made a mad dash to the kitchen, spilling a little water but he didn't care.

"Hurry Kise! Pass the bucket to me!" Midorima said, no, yelled, and Kise complied, all but throwing the thing into Midorima's arms, the force sending him to the ground. He felt no pain as he fell, watching in suspense as Midorima brought the bucket above his chest and basically slamming the water onto the flames to douse it. Split seconds after that, there was an explosion of hot steam, also sending Midorima to the ground. For a few minutes they watched wearily, in case another fire started, but nothing happened. It was then that Kise's started feeling pain on his butt.

"Ow, my ass..." He whined as he got up, "Man the kitchen's a mess now and my pants are wet."

He approached the still dazed Midorima and tapped his shoulder. The green haired man looked up and for the first time, Kise was looming taller than him. "Just what the hell were you doing, Midorimacchi? You almost burned the entire building!" The blond scolded, and for the first time, Kise saw embarrassment and guilt in Midorima's usually stoic face. He wished he brought his phone so he could take a picture and brag to Aomine about it. Oh well.

"I... I was..."

He sent a look to the pot on the stove. Kise turned around and properly looked at everything. The pot was filled with pitch black... things. He wasn't sure what they were. There was a cutting board on the counter and a half chopped up carrot. Kise noticed some blood drops as well. He pieced the information together to conclude that yes, all of his begging had worked, and despite that, no, it was not rewarding at all. By the time he turned around, Midorima was already standing, gaining back his height advantage, though he didn't look that big to Kise at that moment. The guilt and apprehension on his face made him look as small as Kuroko.

"I cut myself and as I was tending to it, everything started burning. I apologize Kise." He actually bowed a little as he said so. For the arrogant and prideful Midorima, it was almost unthinkable and Kise suddenly had the urge to cry. But there were other matters to take care of.

"Hey Midorima, no need to be so formal! It's okay now, at least you didn't burn the whole block down," he assured, beckoning the bowing man to lift his head. He was met with Midorima's usual annoyed face.

"That didn't make me feel better," he grumbled. Kise laughed and he could've sworn he saw the other crack a small smile. It was then that he realized that he was having fun and he was surprisingly content despite the flood on the floor, the pain on his butt and the slight burn mark on the counter. He offered to help Midorima stick a band aid on the cut he hadn't finished tending too. Of course, he was aware the other could do it himself and would probably refuse him regardless, so he just pulled Midorima's hand and damn, he sure cut himself a lot. How much could one person mess up?

He searched the counter for the first aid kit and found it at the far end, already opened, most likely to treat his previous cuts. He removed the one that was only half stuck on the cut before opening a new band aid and wrapping it snug around the injured finger. Finished, Kise silently admired his work, smiling triumphantly to be met with a begrudged thanks from a flustered looking Midorima.

"So, Midorimacchi, pizza?"

"Yes that would be for the best. Also, what did you just call me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you feel the MidoKise brotp feels?! Tho after this chapter they still fight like cats and dogs but hey, I like it that way XD
> 
> Hopefully this was more interesting than the last chapter. This was actually the first ever chapter conceived for this AU and one of the few I actually planned from start to finish, whoops ._.v
> 
> About updates, there will be full length chapters like this one and short interlude chapters like the last one. Full length chapters are a week apart. Should there be an interlude chapter between, it'll be posted three days after the long one without distrubing the weekly basis~
> 
> So, with that cleared up, I'll see you guys next week!


	3. Of Yakuza Movies and Unwanted Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomine and Akashi watch a yakuza movie together. It escalates really really quickly.

It was weird. Totally weird.

Aomine came home from his shift to see Akashi sitting on the sofa. The red headed 'emperor', or so he called himself, was rarely seen outside his room. Apparently, he had a good stay-at-home job, so during the day till late at night, Akashi would be in his room, probably on his PC. Aomine didn't understand why. Akashi was from a family with a big company, and the person himself had enough intellect and charisma to lead it. Yet for some reason he chose to do whatever he was doing (Aomine really did not know) instead of the obviously better choice of inheriting his family's company. Nobody even knew why he decided to share a room with some slob like Aomine when he practically owned the building.

Aomine had long accepted the fact that he'd never get the chance to properly talk to Akashi and he wasn't really upset about it. Despite the redhead's docile look, he was a condescending control freak with an affiliation for sharp things like scissors or knives and he was pretty sure the guy had a collection of them in his mysterious room that no one was allowed into. But enough about that.

Right now lies the problem of Akashi actually sitting in the common room and watching TV. He seemed to be eagerly waiting for something and hadn't noticed Aomine. He was still standing by the door, conflicted on whether to join in to get some awkward bonding time with Akashi over whatever movie he was waiting for or just locking himself in his room but with nothing much to do. It was too late, though. The redhead had finally noticed him standing there.

"Come and watch this movie with me, Daiki."

Oh right, there was also the creepy and uncomfortable first name basis. But that was not the problem now. Akashi just _invited_ Aomine to do something together. The Akashi who probably thought no one in the whole building was smart enough to sustain a conversation with him (and was quite true, for Aomine at least) just invited him to watch a movie together. He wondered just what movie it was that rendered the redhead so out of character.

And so, Aomine grabbed a drink, and put some popcorn in the microwave before making himself comfortable on the sofa, making sure he was sitting as far away from the other man as possible. Being discreet wasn't his forte after all. Akashi took note of this, but he didn't seem to mind as he just shrugged it off and returned his attention to the screen in front of them. The production logo finally appeared on the screen. Surprisingly, it was a studio famous for their samurai and yakuza themed movies. Huh. And Aomine thought Akashi preferred the serious and realistic tones of detective or police movies.

"This wasn't what you were expecting, wasn't it?" Akashi inquired suddenly, as the movie title faded in. It was a yakuza movie, one that Aomine had seen a few years ago at the cinema with his friends and hadn't heard from since. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't that spectacular either.

Unable to find anything to say to continue the conversation, he lamely nodded, uneasily averting his gaze from the screen because just looking at the same thing as the other man felt really _really_ awkward. A minute or so of a short text exposition and the movie started with a bird's eye view of a city zooming into a tall, inconspicuous building. Through one of the windows the camera panned to an old man, the boss as Aomine recalled, escorted by a young servant. At this point, Akashi's attention seemed to be directed fully at the movie.

A loud ding sounded from the kitchen, signaling the popcorn was ready. Aomine, seeing nothing wrong with leaving the scene for a while, - he had watched the movie anyway, immediately went to the kitchen and poured the contents into his special popcorn bowl. Damn, it smelled awesome. He was still hungry from only eating one burger at Majiba (he should've trusted his instinct and got two) and cheese popcorn was very appealing to him right now.

Aomine sat back down the sofa, bowl on his lap, sparing a glance at Akashi, who also happened to be sparing a glance at him. Their eyes met. He quickly looked away, in his mind chanting _awkward awkward awkward._

But the brief occurrence was quickly forgotten, as the movie started its build up. Around fifteen minutes in, Aomine tried glancing at Akashi again, despite the previous 'incident'. He caught the redhead staring at him. Well, more accurately, his popcorn. When the redhead noticed Aomine snickering, he swiftly looked away, cheeks pink. It must have been his pride that prevented him from simply asking.

_Damn, young master, much?_

"Here," Aomine said, holding out the bowl to the still flustered man.  Akashi gave him a questioning look. Oh, feigning innocence, huh? It was too late for that.

"Take some. You were staring at 'em, right?"

Aomine swore he saw Akashi's eyes sparkle. The redhead grabbed a fistful and popped some in his mouth.

"May I?"

He laughed, feeling more relaxed. "You're supposed to ask that before you eat, dumbass."

...

Uh-oh. What did his stupid mouth just do? He called THE Akashi a dumbass. He is so going to die. Aomine felt a bead of sweat forming on his forehead as he consciously shifted. The redhead gave him the look. Oh, such disapproval and disappointment. He felt like he just cursed in front of his mother. Which may as well be true, considering how the other speaks to him.

"Daiki, language," Akashi asserted, more like warned, before turning his attention back at the TV. That was nerve wracking. Aomine never thought he'd feel so afraid of a man who was almost a ruler's length shorter than him.

Despite what happened, they unanimously agreed to share the popcorn and all was peaceful. Until about an hour later, during a certain scene where underground dealings were being discussed. There in a cramped room, sat the two bosses each with their own fully suited bodyguards. It was quite a serious scene that was important to the climax of the movie. For some reason, Akashi chuckled at this. And when Aomine sent him a confused look, he said, "Oh, that's not how these things work."

With that, the taller man got even more confused. How what works exactly? Yakuza dealings? But what does that shitty shut-in even know about these things?

"What do _you_ know about this stuff?" he asked. For the record, he had probably seen more yakuza movies than Akashi will in a lifetime. It only got another chuckle from the redhead. A really creepy one at that. Aomine just knew he would regret ever asking.

"Trust me, I know a lot."

It was true that despite his shut-in state, Akashi somehow always knows what was happening with the building's other tenants. Kise once told that the mysterious man figured out his deepest secret at their first meeting. It was also true that he figured out Aomine's bad habits really quickly (not to mention scolded him about it), even though he rarely even came out of his room to see them himself. But there was NO way he would know how yakuza proceedings worked right?

But what if...?

Aomine gulped nervously. "Are you saying that you're... y-yakuza?"

The room was silent for what seemed like ages after that, save for the sound of guns and fighting on the TV. It was the climax of the movie, but Aomine really couldn't care less as every minute of Akashi's silence just frightened him even more. What was he going to say? Even though he was a cop, it wasn't like he could just subdue Akashi, right? What was even the normal thing to do in a situation like this? If a few months ago someone told him he's be rooming with a (highly likely) yakuza member, he would have laughed.

"Who knows?" Akashi finally said, as the gun fight was resolved and the screen went dark, "I may be."  
The redhead smiled. Aomine didn't feel any malicious intent behind it, in fact it may have been friendly, but it still gave his spine a chill as he was frozen on the spot.

The credits rolled. Akashi stood up and stretched himself stating that he had an enjoyable time and was 'looking forward for next time' and walked back into his room like he hadn't just told his roommate his darkest secret. The words 'next time' kept ringing in Aomine's mind as he sat there, still petrified and wide eyed.

He just knew nobody would ever believe him tomorrow.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in Akashi’s room….

_Kagami Taiga, chef, available to move on 16th due to being overseas visiting his family_

Akashi reread the application email. The 16th. That was tomorrow. He intended to pair Kagami with Murasakibara but he was starting to wonder whether they would burn the flat down, like Midorima and Kise almost did a few days ago. He predicted they would be absolutely more volatile a pair than Midorima and Kise was and that was saying quite a lot.

_Well,_ his mind started to rationalize, _Their occupations imply that they are good in the kitchen, so it's not an obstacle anymore._

Scenarios where physical fights and accidents happen started to flow into his mind as he simulated the outcome. Well, if it ever happened, as long as everybody understood how to evacuate safely, which they do, obviously, since anyone who went to proper schools experienced evacuation drills. The flat's emergency stairways and exits are absolutely more than adequate as well. There won't be many sacrifices.

After all, what's a burnt building to Akashi Seijuro?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Aomine. I like putting the most confident characters in scary and awkward situations so voila. i believe that Aomine isn't as dense as he lets on and Akashi likes to purposefully use this fact to scare the shit out of him. Akashi being a shut-in is pretty cool, right? His mysterious job is to control the yakuza side of his family from behind his computer screen so as not to arise suspicion. In a way he's like Izaya from Durarara!!
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter~ See you next week!


	4. Kitchen's My Space, So Nobody Can Invade!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After constantly arguing over the rights to the kitchen, Kagami and Murasakibara decide to take it to Akashi.

Kagami had a bad feeling when he found out that his roommate was a baker. He had never liked those rotten toothed people, having constant disagreements with the bakers of the patisserie neighboring his workplace. Well, it was usually just the head chef and the head baker who argue head to head (pun not intended)   
while the other workers just leer at each other from behind their bosses in hatred, but nonetheless, he still disliked them.

His first meeting with Murasakibara did not go well. That guy was a giant, and Kagami had no qualms about quickly pointing it out. He must've pushed a button because the two meter tall man squinted at him, probably feeling a little offended, before insulting his split eyebrows. Okay, fine, that time was his fault for being too blunt. But after that, their conversations have only been a mix of insults and the wittiest, most childish comebacks they could offer.

But that wasn't all. The purple giant was also the laziest creature on earth.  He didn't even bother to throw away his garbage, which consisted of nothing but cheap and overly sweet snacks, leading to lots and lots of ants. He also left his possessions everywhere, the floor included. The condition of the common room was horrible on the first day. He barely had any room to put his boxes of belongings. Alright, that was an exaggeration, but it was true that there was a lot of stuff scattered on the floor, garbage included. By the looks of it, that guy didn't even bother to clean up before Kagami arrived. And he thought _he_ was bad at social norms.

One of the most constant arguments they had was about cleanliness. Kagami may not look it, but he liked his living spaces clean with lots of wide open space, just like his previous apartment which he had to abandon due to drastically rising rent after the ownership of the building switched hands. Also he really disliked ants. But Murasakibara seemed impervious to the annoyance of tiny crawling insects. Maybe it was because he was too big to see them, anyway. Everyday there was at least one Maiubo wrap lying on the floor of the common room. By now, six days after Kagami moved in, he had told Murasakibara off about that issue at least 40 times (probably).

But that wasn't even the worst problem. Out of all their arguments, more than half of them are about who had the rights to use the kitchen first. Kagami liked passionate people, but sometimes he wished Murasakibara would find a hobby other than being in the kitchen and baking (and also, not cleaning up afterwards). That day, Kagami's patience was thin and Murasakibara was being a lot more adamant on using the kitchen, they were both hungry, so they ended up arguing about it for more than an hour, before simultaneously shouting "Fine! Let's ask Akashi/Aka-chin what he thinks!!"

They stormed out their unit, slamming the door open and not bothering to close it, and raced to Akashi's unit across the hallway, all the while pushing and pulling and trying to trip each other. Some of the other residents noticed the racket and watched. Kise in particular was being terribly noisy about it but Kagami didn't care. They reached Akashi and Aomine's doorstep, out of breath and with the two residents of said unit already looking on, both with blatant amusement on their faces.

"AKASHI!" "AKA-CHIN!"

"Who do you think should use the kitchen first?!" They asked loudly and simultaneously. When they noticed this, they both growled, also simultaneously, before yelling, yet again, simultaneously, "Stop copying me!"

"You're the one who's copying me!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Oh, shut up!"

It wasn't even a dialogue anymore at this point, given that Murasakibara wouldn't stop copying him (that bastard), so Kagami resorted to insults instead. He stood on his tiptoes in a strong attempt to meet the other in the eyes before shouting, "Shut the fuck up, you rotten toothed titan!"

Apparently Murasakibara had the same thing in mind because almost simultaneously, he yelled, with as much venom as Kagami, "Shut up fork brows! I'm gonna crush you!"

Kagami couldn't take it anymore, so he huffed, angry and red-faced, looking away so quickly and intensely, he might as well have broken his neck.

With an amused smirk, Akashi said, "Alright, alright, come in and we'll discuss this."

* * *

 

So now, here they were, even the uninvolved ones only here for the shits and giggles, in Akashi's living room, discussing (or trying to at least, because no one seemed serious about it) the problem.

"Alright, let's get to the point here. It seems like the both of you aren't backing down," Akashi stated, in a professional tone.

Kagami inwardly cringed at the thought of backing down to _Murasakibara_ of all people. He quickly presented his rebuttal, "There's no way I'm doing that!"

"Me neither!" Murasakibara added with what looked like a childish pout, but Kagami couldn't care less what that fucking manchild does. Kise and Aomine, who were sitting between them on the long sofa was the only thing keeping them from headbutting each other. But from the way they were indiscreetly snickering, it was a miracle Kagami hadn't punched them in the face yet.

"So, what do you propose we do?" Akashi inquired, grabbing their attention once more.

"We want another kitchen," they answered, simultaneously again, glaring daggers at each other from where they were sitting, arms folded on their chests. Why was that giant copying his gestures too? Words were enough, damn it!

Akashi brought his hand to his chin thoughtfully, before asking, "And how do you suppose we do that?"

Kagami wasn't fast enough thinking about his reply, so Murasakibara, munching on a pack of maiubo that seemingly came out of nowhere, answered first, "We can get rid of Kaga-chin's room for it. He can just sleep on the couch."

Kagami's eyes widened in surprise. If he were drinking, he would've spit it out already. "As if! Fine, I'll just move out then! I'm tired of your shit anyway!"

Just as he was about to stand up and leave, Akashi interjected, "N-NO!" He sounded quite panicked. From the corner of his eyes, Kagami could see Aomine who looked more surprised at the fact that Akashi lost his cool than his sudden decision to move out and Kise who was questioning Aomine's incorrectly focused surprise.

"N-no, I mean," Akashi started, squinting at Aomine, who then quit his gawking. He straightened his posture, regaining his calm demeanor and said, "Moving out is quite drastic isn't it? There won't be any offer as cheap as this, Kagami Taiga."

Kagami leaned back slowly into the sofa and thought and thought, considering his options while the others, even Akashi, watched in suspense. "Well, I guess you're right..."

The others sighed in relief, while Murasakibara clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction and resignation. _Ha, suck it_ , Kagami thought, failing to notice that he too, would not be benefitted should he stay with his current roommate.

"What about the kitchen problem, Akashi-kun?" someone piped up from the kitchen. The ones on the sofa turned their heads to look properly at the speaker, what was his name...? Ah, Kuroko. He and Midorima had been silently looking on from the dining table and this was the first time Kagami noticed them there.

"Ah, that." Akashi began, smiling his business smile. He paused thoughtfully, adding suspense to the situation, in Kagami's mind at least. "I have a solution. But it would take at least a week. Do you mind?"

Startled, Kagami could only manage a pathetic sounding "uh... n-not really..." while Murasakibara gave an apathetic "hnn..."

"Great. I'm sure this solution of mine would be of benefit to us all," Akashi said and rose up off his seat, walking back into his room. He looked back at the stupefied tenants and smiled. "For now you are welcome use my kitchen any time, Kagami Taiga."  
Akashi disappeared into his room and the click of his lock was heard clearly throughout the room.

There was something about Akashi's aftertaste (afterpresence?) that made everyone in the room a bit overwhelmed, especially right after he left on his own terms. Only the ticking of the clock accompanied the six as they sent each other meaningful looks. Well, at least to Kagami, they looked meaningful.

Kise was the first to get up and stretch his body, claiming he had a photoshoot soon and complaining at the fact that it was Sunday, and it was supposed to be his day off, before racing out the front door. The model had broken the silence and had set the mood, freeing it from the curse of Akashi. Soon enough, all of them, discounting Aomine and Kagami, exited the room, chatting a little, but mostly left with their own musings.

The two remaining looked at each other, seemingly forgetting that they also piss each other off, wondering the same thing, _What is Akashi planning?_ They thought over it in silence for a while.

Suddenly, Aomine playfully slung his arm around Kagami's neck, declaring with a smirk, "I'm hungry, Bakagami. When are you gonna cook lunch?"

Kagami was actually quite thankful the other did that (he was tired of thinking), not that he would admit it, and instead, with a scowl shoved the other away. "As if I'm gonna cook for you, Ahomine!"

As Kagami headed to the kitchen, he cracked a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, can't believe it's Tuesday again~   
> This chapter was fun to write. I love writing in Kagami's pov. But Kagami bonded with Aomine instead?! This was supposed to be Kagami & Mukkun bonding chapter. But I guess not. Those two really dont get along, and it's hard to think of a scenario that would help them achieve that. This chapter ended up being more of a show about the effects of Akashi's absoluteness. The others are basically subservient to him. I'll try harder next time!
> 
> Next chapter is a super short interlude, so I'll see you in three days!


	5. Interlude: Rules Are At the Mercy of Akashi

Akashi was bored. It was a fairly quiet day in the underground business, no discrepancies whatsoever. And it was only noon. Aside from the fact that Kuroko's new room mate was arriving in two days, he had nothing else to look forward to. He sighed, resting his chin on palm. One option was to socialize with Daiki. But the man was at work and wouldn't be back until dinner time. Another was to take care of that 'solution' he mentioned. Oh, wait he already took care of that, easy as pie. He smirked. The privileges of the Akashi family were absolutely convenient.

But he was still bored. Despite that, he was NOT coming out of his room, that was absolute. Maybe he should ring Shintaro for a virtual shogi match. But he recalled something which should have been common sense. It was Tuesday. He had classes. /Weekdays are so boring,/ he mused, twirling his favorite scissors with his free hand.

It was then that his cellphone rang. The caller ID was Ryota's. This had better be entertaining, he thought as he picked up his phone.

"Akashi Seijuro speaking."

"Akashicchi! Can I keep it?!" He heard the blond ask (shout) from the other side of the line. Akashi leaned back into his spinny chair, massaging his temples. Ryota's voice gave him a headache.

"Tell me."

"Pets!! This little fella right here!"

There was a short pause before there was a chirp of a bird and a "Hello!"

Of course not! Or at least that was what Akashi was going to say, but the entertainment factor of pets was too high to resist. Especially when Ryota's room mate is the tight Shintaro. He may as well lift the whole ban as well. Yes, this was going to be absolutely fun. After all, who cared about the comfort of the building's regular tenants not involved in this 'show' of his? Yes, they exist, but what were they to Akashi?

"Alright, Ryota, you can keep it. The pet ban is now lifted as well, tell the others if you'd like."

"OH MY GOD, Akashicchi is the best! Takao-san! He said I could ke-"

Akashi cut off the line, chuckling maliciously. Yes, this was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly running out of pre-written chapters and idk what to do. 
> 
> Anyways, yay! Pets! And the intro of my fav hawk guy!
> 
> See you Tuesday~


	6. Kise's Friend's A Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kise brings his new pet parrot home! And Midorima meets his new (and, in fact, more capable than Kise) friend, Takao.

Midorima looked up from his laptop screen when he heard Kise open the front door. He wasn't particularly waiting for him. In fact, interacting with Kise was one of his least anticipated activity. That was why he had indulge the blond model, so he could get it over with and continue whatever he was doing. With a sigh, he rose from his desk and entered the common room. And what greeted him was... well, Kise. And in his hand was... a _bird_.

" _Midorimacchi_!! Guess what I brought!" Kise declared, running up to him enthusiastically, literally shoving the small animal into Midorima's face. He jolted backwards with a cringe. After the initial surprise had subsided, he leaned back in to take another good look at the bird. It was a young African Grey parrot, one of the smartest species of its type. The bird cocked his head, chirping what sounded like a question.

It wasn't like Midorima hated animals. In fact, he liked to learn about animals as his pastime. It didn't necessarily mean he was good with them, but he could bear with it. Although, there was one problem.

"Kise. Akashi, in fact, does not allow pets in the building," Midorima warned.

"I know, I know. I already asked Akashicchi! He said the pets ban is now lifted for all of us!" Kise announced, in a singsong voice. Just as Midorima opened his mouth to question this 'lifted ban', someone knocked on the front door. Kise handed the bird to Midorima and, like the over enthusiastic child he was, dashed to open the door. And the on the other side was a stranger. Probably one of Kise's extensive amount of friends.

"Takao! Hey! Come in, come in!" Kise greeted, opening the door wider to let his friend in. He was short and had raven hair with a grin plastered on his face. Midorima didn't like it already.

"Yo! How's he doin'?" The stranger, Takao, as Kise enunciated, asked equally loudly. When the bird, who had only been staring at Midorima in silence the whole time, saw Takao approach, it vigorously flapped its wings going "Hello, hello!"

"Oh look, it warmed up to your roommate already!" Takao said, looking quite impressed. Huh, really.

"This guy doesn't warm up to people at all. Not really good for the business. You guys, are the only people I ever saw him suck up to," Takao explained while pampering and petting the bird with his finger. "Of course, that includes me too," he added proudly, Kise going _wooowww_ in the background. Somehow, it still wasn't enough information for Midorima to go on and it irritated him to be out of the loop.

He cleared his throat before inquiring, "This information is great, but would you at least mind telling me your name first? I'm-"

The small man cut him and took him by surprise, "Ah I know your name already. You're Midorima Shintaro, son of Midorima Medical Center;s CEO..." He paused before adding, "Sorry ‘bout that, though, didn't mean to be rude."

Ah, this man actually apologized. He might actually be better than Kise.

"I'm Takao Kazunari," he said, fishing in his pocket for what turned out to be a business card. On it was written his name and contact information, which was normal, but what stroke him was the odd company that he worked for. Shuutoku Animodels. Below it was their slogan, 'Picture perfect critters!'

Midorima's confused look must have been apparent, as Takao laughed and explained that his company provided animals for modelling jobs, usually for magazines specializing on pets. That day, Kise happened to have a modelling job with a bird for a pet magazine, which was how they met. He proudly announced that he was the 'big boss' of the avian division. The man, currently chattering away with Kise, seemed to be about his age. But, unlike the childish model, he actually sounded quite impressive when talking about his job. Maybe because it was something quite niche. Besides, attending to animals wasn't easy.

"Hey, Midorimacchi, you should listen too! Takao is gonna explain how to take care of Puffball-chan!" Kise said, waking Midorima from his musings.

Kise always had a knack for giving his belongings weird names, but it still never ceased to confuse Midorima, who ended up vocalizing his question bemusedly, "... Puffball-chan?"

But his inquiry was ignored as Takao gestured with his hand to huddle around. He took Puffball-chan from the doctor-to-be's hand and started explaining about basic maintenance like what type of seeds it ate and how much water it needed every day. He also mentioned a few things about cleaning its cage. Little by little, the conversation completely veered away from the subject and Midorima ended up being out of the loop again. Silently, he watched as the two exchanged jokes and gossips, but since Kise was a normalcy for him, he found himself observing Takao instead. He had a similar aura with Kise, but there was something different in the way he talked and gestured. It was like he was actually adjusting to Kise's pace instead of actually being in it from the beginning. He also noticed that during the conversation, he often sent looks and smiles particularly to him and he really didn't know what it meant or how he should respond to them.

"Ah right! Speaking of which, I actually got something for you," Takao stated, walking to the front door, Kise following suit. They exited for a moment to look at something that was placed next to the door. Midorima could hear Kise's voice exclaiming _Oh my god!_ , Both came back inside, Kise ecstatic as he held out a large bird cage, the bird already inside it, beaming ear to ear.

"Look what he got for me! Oh, thanks so much, Takaocchi!" The blond cried while tackling the smaller man into what was probably supposed to be an all-out hug, but was hindered by the cage. Takao was lucky he didn't have to feel the full brunt and crushing power of Kise's hugs. Unrelated, but he was probably the fastest person to ever gain Kise's full respect, aside from Akashi, and that was an incredible feat. This man was not to be made light of.

"Nah, it's totally no problem!" Takao replied, smiling, not even trying to push the obnoxious blond away. Now that Midorima thought about it, there wasn't a moment when the raven haired man was not smiling.

Once Kise had calmed down and was not trying to push Takao into the wall, he looked at his wristwatch and seemed like he was finally ready to conclude this visit.

"So, that's all you need to know about taking care of Puffball-chan," He paused and made sure Kise was looking before checking, or pretending to check, his watch. Before the model had any chance of asking, Takao proclaimed quickly, but with no sense of hurry, "Now, I got places to be, see ya soon Kise!"  Takao said, making a beeline for the front door, yet again with Kise behind him, giving him his thanks and goodbyes.

Before Takao left, he added while smiling specifically at Midorima, "Oh, right! See ya' soon, too, Shin-chan!"

Midorima stood wide-eyed and with his mouth slightly agape, looking like he was, as Kise often described it, scandalized. Maybe this time he really was. Fortunately, Takao was not there to see it. But even if he did, it was his fault anyway, calling him some overly cute, overly familiar nickname even though they just met.

"GAHAHAHAHA!"

Oh right, there was Kise too. He was laughing his ass off by the doorway, clutching his stomach. Slowly, while still guffawing, he made his way to Midorima and in between laughs and shoulder slaps, said something that would probably be dwelling in the back of his mind for days. "I think he's in love with you, Midorimacchi!"

Midorima stood there paralyzed as Kise said his good nights and went back to his room, Puffball-chan in tow, leaving him there to contemplate why and how this happened. The model must have been joking as usual. They had just met and barely talked. Besides, they were both men.

Suddenly, he recalled what Oha-Asa said that morning.

"Cancers! Today, you will have an encounter that will change your life! Combine your high relationship luck with today's lucky item to produce the maximum effect! Who knows, maybe you'll find your soulmate!"

Midorima fished in his pocket for the lucky item in question, a 100 yen coin, and all his mind could conceive was a continuous barrage of

_Oh god, no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologize for being late! I got caught up in reading Rokka no Yuusha novels (READ THEM THEY'RE AWESOME) yesterday and completely, utterly forgot! Sorry I'm done making up excuses.
> 
> Anyways, yayy!! Takao's debut! My fav hsk! I really looked forward to writing this chapter! I know in the tags it said no pairings but I can't help it!!! MDTK for the win!
> 
> Um, next two chapters aren't interludes but they're both short so three days in between each! Yay!
> 
> See you Saturday!


	7. Shut-In Meets Hikikkomori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akashi meets Mayuzumi. Mayuzumi probably hates him.

Akashi was not someone anybody would take a liking to at first meeting. In fact, nobody ever did, and he was well aware of this fact. Whether that person ended up taking a liking to him or not depended solely on how that person thinks, because Akashi treats everybody equally and tell them the same things, the only exception being Daiki, who he lowkey exposed his position in the yakuza to. Of course, he was not about to change that, not even when he was introduced to someone with as absolutely challenging a personality as Mayuzumi Chihiro.

This man didn't seem like much, if not, a little bit mysterious judging from his self-description. Mayuzumi had chosen not to disclose his occupation. That was alright, of course but the problem was he only filled in very little in the essay about himself compared to everybody else. Barely two sentences. Well, that too was alright. It was straightforward but just a bit vague with too much obvious snark to determine what this person was like accurately. Akashi guessed he must be similar to Kuroko in some respect, after all the small blue haired man was always clear about his intentions when speaking. Mayuzumi Chihiro obviously wanted to purposely hide details about himself while trying to irritate him.

So Akashi really had no idea what to expect when he had to meet this man to hand him his keys. Therefore, it was quite a surprise when he saw that Mayuzumi was, to put it simply, normal. A bit too normal looking, blending into his surroundings.

"Akashi Seijuro-san?" The gray haired man inquired, as he approached Akashi, walking with a slight slouch in his gait, a large duffel bag in tow.

Waking up from his reverie, Akashi quickly regained his composure and with a slight nod, he responded, "Yes. You must be Mayuzumi Chihiro.”

"Yes."

 _This man obviously does not talk much,_ Akashi thought, taking his time to observe the enigmatic man in front of him up and down. He was wearing a white sweater, baggy trousers and white sneakers. Just plain, nothing else added on. He was just about to contemplate this fully when Mayuzumi, sounding a little more than peeved, interrupted.

"When are you going to take me to my room, Akashi-san?" He asked, arms crossed, apparent venom in the mention of Akashi's name.

Absolutely challenging, just as he thought.

Smiling, but more in amusement than just politeness, Akashi quietly lead the man up the stairs to the third floor, where all his interesting 'tenants' rooms were. He nodded at the few workers currently working on the secret 'solution' room on the second floor, Mayuzumi unquestioning behind him.

"Here's your room. You'll be sharing it with Kuroko Tetsuya," Akashi explained once they were standing at Kuroko's door, room number 3. He fished out the room keys and handed it to Mayuzumi, who seemed quite disinterested and was ready to dismiss his company. Akashi decided to test this theory by offering him a house tour.

Mayuzumi squinted and sharply replied, "I don't need it." His expression screamed 'I don't like you at all, and you best stay away from me'. The scowl on his previously (and probably usually) bored face seemed to indicate as much.

 _Oh my, Tetsuya is going to have a hard time with this one._ Akashi thought, holding back a malicious smirk in exchange for a slight smile as he informed his new tenant that he was in room four if he ever needed anything. The man briskly nodded. As soon as Akashi turned around, he unlocked his door and entered, almost slamming it shut afterwards.

Akashi did the same thing, minus the door slamming, and returned to secluding himself in his room, after which he laughed maniacally, thinking,

_How interesting!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wah I can't believe I almost forgot to update. Again --" 
> 
> I imagine Mayuzumi dressing up like L from Death Note. I mean, come on, it's pretty fitting!
> 
> With that aside, see you Tuesday!


	8. Secret Solution Revealed!

Kuroko wasn't a man of expression, but when Akashi showed everyone, who he had purposefully assembled that Sunday morning, the 'solution' room, he couldn't help but look a little surprised, if not, a little bit overwhelemed. The room was the size of a regular unit, quite similar. The only difference was that the walls around area that should have been the two bedrooms have been completely torn down in exchange for a bigger common room, or, more appropriately, a play room. The kids at the preschool would be ecstatic if they got a play space this big. Apparently, same goes with all the fully grown adults gawking and enthusiastically checking out everything in the room, the only exceptions being Akashi who was smiling quite proudly to himself by the door and Mayuzumi, who had left as soon as he got a good look at the room from outside. Mayuzumi wasn't exactly the best example of a roommate but that was a different story for another time.

Currently, Kise and Aomine were excitedly chattering about the huge LED TV and feeling up all the new game consoles located in the door-less cupboard, where the TV was standing, the latter sending Akashi looks of utter disbelief every five seconds. Murasakibara immediately took to laying down on the large sofa. It was so big, that even with the large man lying on it, there was still space for at least three more. And even if there was nothing left of the sofa, there were two bean bags adjacent to it. If that ran out as well there was still the carpeted floor, which Aomine found to be, in his own words, 'comfy as fuck'.

By the large and mostly full bookshelf with only a couple shelves to spare stood Midorima, who was scanning book titles quite seriously. Kagami was looking at every tool in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards and drawers with fervor and testing out every electric one. He also checked the bathroom, a few steps away from the bookshelf, but only came out shrugging. Kuroko approached him just as he joined the others, who had just discovered that the sofa was also convertible into a bed, startling him.

"Holy shit Kuroko!" He gasped, to which the mentioned man only rolled his eyes at. It was just the usual Kagami.

"What was in the bathroom, Kagami-kun?"

"Just a toilet and a sink, nothing else. Pretty basic," Kagami answered. Both proceeded to observe as the rest, mostly Kise, noisily gushed about the luxuries of the room. Soon after, Akashi walked to the middle of the circle of the chitchatting friends, effectively shutting them all up. Such was the power of Akashi Seijuro.

"I would like to set some ground rules for all to follow," he said, holding out a piece of laminated paper that seemingly came out if nowhere. "Whether or not you want to add new rules should be decided through democratic methods."

Akashi glanced around to make sure everyone was paying attention, before authoritatively walking towards the small bulletin board by the room's entrance, everyone following suit. With a thumbtack, he stuck the piece of paper on it and sidestepped as to not obscure the tenants' view. Kise enthusiastically volunteered to read out all the rules, while the others nodded in the background.

"1. Tenants shall dispose of garbage in the bin in the kitchen according to category  (recyclable and non-recyclable) before they leave the room.

2\. Every week, one tenant must be on duty to clean the room and throw out the trash. The order of which shall be decided democratically and shall be maintained unless the situation does not allow them. In case of a tenant failing to fulfill their duties, without a good reason, they shall pay a fine of $50."

Murasakibara impassively grunted to that.

"3. Moving any appliances away from the room is strictly prohibited and will be issued a fine of $100

4\. Should a tenant break any appliance originally belonging to this room, they will have to buy a replacement (no secondhand items)."

Aomine, notorious for breaking his phone twice in one month, muttered a barely audible "Oh shit."

"5. Tenants using the kitchen shall cook enough portions for all the tenants inside the room at the given time."

To that Kagami groaned.

"6. Eating is allowed anywhere in the room, but messes are not tolerated. Should there be a mishap, tenants must immediately clean the affected area.

7\. Should the plumbing/heating in the room have problems, tenants shall contact a plumber/technician. Should the cause of the problem be due to tenants' regular misuse, charges will be issued.

8\. The room is accessible 24/7, and tenants may use it at their disposal while adhering to the rules above."

Kise finished eagerly. He looked ready to go that very second, pleading to Akashi with his puppy eyes to hurry and finish. And the redhead did just that.

"That concludes the basics of this room. You may now go and use it as you please," he declared, before exiting the room with  
his ever so dignified walk. There was a short quiet after Akashi close the door behind him, but as usual it was   
quickly broken quite enthusiastically by Kise.

"Okay! So," the blond started, drawing the others' attention. "Who's up for a game of Mario Kart?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm waiting for adobe illustrator to finish downloading as I am uploading this. Even though I don't have the mental capacity to draw digitally asdfghjkl
> 
> So yay, how is it? A gaming room! And an extra kitchen ofc. From now on, chapters will not be ordered chronologically! This chap is the last set-up chapter, so hopefully no more interludes! Again, I'm slowly running out of pre-written chapters, so if you have any scenario ideas (particularly Kuroko and Mayuzumi, I have no chapter for them yet), please feel free to leave them in the comments. 
> 
> See you next week!


	9. How Brother Met Roommate (And How Kagami Taiga Became A Victim To It All)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himuro visits Kagami after not seeing each other in a while, but with the presence of Murasakibara, Kagami was turned into the reluctant third wheel.

Today, Kagami was about to invite his step-brother, Himuro Tatsuya, to his not really new residence. In short, his brother had been curious about the living conditions of Kagami's so called "cheap ass apartment"

"This place doesn't look very cheap, Taiga. Are you sure you aren't taking money for granted again?" Himuro asked as they entered the flat complex. Previously, the older man had been worried that despite living right in the heart of the city, Kagami's flat was located in a small and dark alley, again, due to Kagami claiming about its cheap rates. He had been really surprised when it turned out the building was located in the main street.

"No, it's legit cheap. It's cheaper than your place even," Kagami explained as he lead his brother to the third floor. The older man seemed to let go after that and just sighed. They made a little small talk the rest of the way.

"Yeah so.. this is my apartment," he said, opening the front door to let his brother in. To say Himuro was surprised was an understatement. Sure his face was still stoic as ever, but at this point, Kagami has learned to read his slightly mysterious brother's emotions.

"Cheaper than my place? Are you kdding Taiga?" Himuro inquired disbelief written all over his face. Okay, not all over, just his  eyebrows. They were furrowed in confusion.

To that, Kagami just shrugged.

"I heard you were living with someone. Is he here?" Himuro asked again as he looked around the living room. He quickly noticed the maiubo wrappers on the table. It wasn't apparent, but Himuro was quite a clean freak. That's where Kagami's love for  cleanliness came from. But his brother wasn't as crazy as Midorima, who'd probably spray antiseptic on his lucky item collection everytime Kise touched them.... That was an exaggeration, but the point was proven.

"Yeah, but it doesn't look like he's home right now," Kagami answered as he watched his brother carefully pick up the trash and dispose them in the trash can by the couch. Well, he said that, but in truth, he didn't actually know where the purple giant was. God knows where he goes on Sundays. Probably to the candy shop again. Really, Kagami wished that guy wasn't at home currently because his brother would hate him, just like Kagami does. More extremely even. And that was saying a lot. Kagami seriously despised the guy.

As if on cue, Murasakibara's room door opened, catching the attention of both men and out came the purple giant in all his glory, dressed in an ugly tee and shorts, hair tied up into the messiest ponytail Kagami has ever seen. Ugh the world must hate him. He slowly turned his gaze to Himuro, to check for his reaction, but contrary to his predictions, which was an utterly 'scandalized' face, as Kise famously put it, Himuro was staring at the other man weirdly (Kagami couldn't describe it any better), with his mouth slightly agape... and why was his cheeks slowly tinting red? Worse, the giant was actually returning the stare with the exact same expression.

It took a few more seconds of them staring at each other, redfaced, in silence before Kagami understood what it all implied. And he did not like it. At all.

/Oh hell no/

He cursed the world for everything that was currently happening. He seriously  didn't know that ravenous, messy giants were his brother's type. He didn't even know Himuro swung that way at all. Last time he asked, his brother's type was SMALL and DAINTY GIRLS.

Despite all his hatred for the current situation, Kagami had no idea how to resolve it without making it painfully awkward for all of them. Now, he was cursing himself for being too nice. Suddenly, playing Mario Kart with Kise in the recreation room didn't sound so bad, despite the blond model secretly being a fucking beast at it. Out of all the times Kagami has ever played against Kise, he only won twice. They have played 23 times already. But that wasn't important.

In the end, Kagami opted to wait in silence until they snapped out of it. And thankfully, after what seemed like hours, his brother cleared his throat and looked away, which caused Murasakibara to do the same, both still in a daze. Curse them for involving a third party in their self invoked awkwardness. Somehow, Kagami had to fix it. So he, with a stutter, invited his brother to sit on the couch. The older man complied with a nod, sitting on one end of the couch. Murasakibara followed, awkwardly sitting in the opposite end, looking a little troubled. Kagami would have laughed at the giant's suffering if it didn't involve his brother.

"Um, you guys, try to... g-get along, while I brew coffee and uh, Murasakibara, do you want the usual?"

Murasakibara just nodded. Kagami had never seen the giant so out of it before. He excused himself to the kitchen to make the drinks as he contemplated what everything meant. Was it love at first sight? Did that even exist? What does that mean for their relationship later? Will they become like, lovers in due time? No, at this point, Kagami didn't think it was an "If" question anymore. "WHEN" was apparently more appropriate. He shuddered at the thought, spilling a few drops of coffee as he poured them in small cups. Murasakibara's 'usual' consisted of iced chocolate drink. Instant of course, so making it took less than two minutes.

He brought the drinks on a tray to the living room, expecting the two in question to still be staring at each other awkwardly, but again, contrary to his predictions, they were, in fact (ugh he sounded like Midorima), hitting it off really well. Too well. So well, to the point where they were very engrossed in their conversation, sitting waaayyy too close to each other for Kagami's comfort.

If he weren't carrying everybody's drinks right now, he would have run to his room, lock his door, fucking shed a manly tear and scream into his pillow. To hell with common courtesy.

As he internally raised his middle finger to the world he cleared his throat loudly, finally silencing the two.... friends? Ugh what even were they?

Not knowing what else to say, Kagami silently put the drinks on the coffee table and reluctantly sitting on the couch, next to his brother, who was smiling at him like this was the happiest day of his life. "So, how's work Taiga?"

"It's going great... Riko-san, ah she's the boss, is kinda scary, though. Hyuuga-senpai is also scary. Even so, I get along well with all of them," Kagami replied. He opened his mouth to ask about how Himuro's work was going (he was a freelance graphic designer), but the older man beat him. "That's great, Taiga! Making friends with your colleagues is important too, right, Atsushi?"

Holy shit, they were on first name basis already?!

Somehow after that, the conversation shifted and Kagami was left completely in the dark for at least two hours, occasionally giving a brief comment, only to be rewarded a nod or a smile by his brother and a glare from the giant. At times, his brother would ask him little things regarding his opinion, but he would always go back to talking to Murasakibara right after. It was awkward for him and he wanted to run away so bad. He was SO going to make Himuro pay.

When it was finally time for the older man to leave, Kagami hesitantly intervened, reminding him that he had an appointment soon. He waited by the door as his brother collected his things and said his last goodbyes with his room mate. Kagami made sure to make his sourness less apparent, but of course, Himuro caught on, realization flashing on his face, before he smiled guiltily. "I'm so sorry, Taiga. I didn't know you were upset. I'm sorry." There was shame in his eyes as he apologized. Honestly, Kagami couldn't be mad at his brother for too long. He knew his brother was a lonely person and thus, was happy to meet a new friend... or whatever Murasakibara was to him.

"Heh, you better be," Kagami joked. Forgive and forget right?

"Oh, little Taiga is so big now. We're both busy nowadays and we can't see each other that much. I'm so sorry about before and I won't do it again. I'll treat you to some coffee next time, okay? Then we can properly talk," Himuro offered, smiling sheepishly.

At that, Kagami nodded enthusiastically and the siblings grinned at each other before briefly embracing. Ah, his bro used to be so big. Now, Kagami was the bigger one, swallowing Himuro's smaller frame his arms.

After parting, they waved their goodbyes. Kagami watched his brother's disappearing figure as he walked down the stair steps. Ah, he didn't know what this strange feeling stirring in his heart was. It felt like he was slowly being left behind. He was starting to get a little lonely, just like that time his brother first left the US to live in Japan.

"Ugh I hate this," he grumbled,  closing the door and retreated to his room.

Damn, was he spent. And not in a good way either. For the first time in years, Kagami had no appetite for dinner and decided to skip it, choosing the warm covers of his bed and hopefully, the solace of his dreams. That night, he dreamt of himself and Himuro as carefree kids playing basketball together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 already? And on time, wow! I still can't believe I've come this far. I lovelovelove writing in Kagami's point of view, he's so relatable and he talks like me, though I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in one of the earlier chapters. Huh. Himuro didn't mean any harm! Really!! He was just happy to meet a new friend(?). And is it just me or is this fic getting gayer and gayer every chapter ugh.
> 
> Anyways, ideas, suggestions, and prompts are always welcome, seeing as I'm quickly running out of brain power to write this OTL.
> 
> See you next week!


	10. Shut-In Agenda AKA The Day Akashi Learned An Important Truth In Life (Oh, And Mayuzumi's Job)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the day Akashi had scheduled to go out for supplies, but unexpectedly, he met with Mayuzumi and ended up going with him. Mayuzumi seemed to hate him, but he found out they were more similar than they thought.

"Heh, of course I win again," Akashi laughed as he dealt the finishing move against an online shogi player. Shintaro was exceptionally better at it than this person. He reached for his coffee mug on the adjacent table, only to find that it was empty. Frowning in disappointment, he then opened the food supply drawers below said table to find that his supply has depleted to nothing but a few oatmeal bars and stale bread. Sighing, he picked up the bread and threw it in his trash bin, which was now full. He glanced at the calendar sitting next to his coffee mug, noting that it had been almost two weeks since he last went out.

"It's time," Akashi said thoughtfully. He quickly put on a jacket over his t-shirt (It was summer, but he had his shut-in pride), and putting on a pair of casual shoes, he stepped out of his front door, assuming the coast was clear and that no other tenants were loitering around in the flat on a Wednesday. But he forgot one person. And that person was now standing right in front of him, having just stepped out as well. It was Mayuzumi Chihiro, dressed in almost similar attire with himself, save for the colors. While Akashi's was dominated by dark browns, Mayuzumi chose a gray hue. It fit with his hair.

"Ugh. You again," the older man spat, squinting at Akashi in a scrutinizing manner. He seemed to be accusing Akashi of something and the redhead was not having any of that because he did absolutely nothing wrong. People seem to think he did a lot of wrong but really, he didn't see it. Akashi Seijuro is never wrong and that, he believed wholly. And despite that, the younger man had nothing to say. He knew that whatever retort he could think of would be returned by the other man and frankly, he had never met anyone like that in his life. Akashi was absolute but not to this man in front of him. Which means he wasn't absolute. Such was the omnipotence paradox.

It was better not to say anything to that comment, Akashi concluded. Instead, he tried to make some small talk by asking, "Oh, Mayuzumi Chihiro. I believe you have somewhere to go. I, myself, am going to the convenience store to buy rations for the upcoming week."

Okay, that was too stiff, even for Akashi.

"Ugh, what's with the way you speak?" He inquired, probably rhetorical and sarcastic, because it was Mayuzumi speaking, so Akashi did not respond. There was an odd, long pause consisting of Akashi staring expectantly at Mayuzumi before the latter gave in and replied in a threatening tone, "I'm going to Al*amart too, but don't you DARE follow me."

Akashi only nodded to that and let Mayuzumi walk ahead, him doing the same soon after. Once they were both on the main street, the older man, without looking back, walked across the street. Work hours rendered the street quite easy to cross without waiting for the red light. And the fact that he seemed quite adamant to shake off Akashi, even though he was absolutely not following him at all, was probably a factor for that. Sure, Akashi's job wasn't exactly law abiding, but outside of work, he was an upstanding citizen. Even if he did decide to cross the street without waiting, all vehicles alike will have to stop before him because he is clearly more important than all of them combined.

Mayuzumi made it to the other side just as the crossing light went green. When Akashi saw the older man snarl, he smirked victoriously as he crossed the road with utmost pride because obeying the law meant he was a better person. Well, there weren't a lot of people better than him anyway.

Surprisingly, Mayuzumi did not enter the store first while grumbling, like Akashi expected, but actually waited by the road for the redhead to reach him, even though the scowl was ever present on his face. HE had accepted his loss.

Akashi sent Mayuzumi a questioning look to inquire just that and somehow, the older man successfully deciphered what it meant, something that not even Daiki, who he blessed with his presence every day,  or Shintaro could do. It seemed like they were more alike than he thought.

"Why do you treat everything like a game, Akashi?" He asked back, seemingly challenging the shorter man, looking at him condescendingly from his higher perch. Trying his best to hold down his urge to ankle break Mayuzumi or stab him with the spare scissors he always had in his jacket pocket, Akashi just smiled enigmatically. And as usual, he ended things on his terms by turning around and walking into the store without letting the older man say anything else.

The store bell chimed as the automatic door opened, letting him and Mayuzumi, who was cursing inaudibly behind him, in. Akashi grabbed a basket and headed straight to the instant food section, making sure to keep an eye on the older man, who went to the stationery section also with a basket in tow. Akashi grabbed the usual, some tea, instant coffee, instant ramen, bread, some potato chips and oatmeal bars, enough to last two more weeks. Mayuzumi was quick about his errands too, like he already knew in advance what brands and types he should buy. So he was the type to use a trusted brand repeatedly instead of trying new ones, Akashi concluded. But this time there was probably another reason he was doing it so quickly, and that was to avoid the redhead. In all seriousness, he had no idea what he had done wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it and absolutely make the older man accept him.

When Akashi went over to the stationery section to look closer, Mayuzumi purposely took the longer way, going around the aisles instead of through them, to the food section just so they wouldn't cross paths. Initially, Akashi had planned to take a peek at the other's basket. He had long learned that the type and brand of stationery people buy often give small hints about their occupation, hobbies, and even financial state. What a mystery, that man was. Most likely, he had his fair share of people observing to know Akashi's intentions.

_Hm. Intriguing._

Shrugging, the redhead went over the manga section, not too far from the stationery,– he had no need for them for now – and browsed through the selection. The small shelf had all the best sellers and among them was a shoujo manga labelled with a red sticker that said 'New Release'. Akashi could care less about shoujo, since he preferred mystery or shounen themed manga, but something about this manga title pulled him in. He picked one sample up to look closer.

'Taiyo's Sympathy'.

 _What an unusual title,_ he thought.

On the cover was an apathetic looking high school boy, blowing bubblegum, wearing a hoodie and sporting a baseball bat. There was something in the drawing style that intrigued him. And that intrigue only proliferated when he saw the mangaka's name. Or to be exact, psuedonym. 'Mayuhiro Chizumi.' It resembled a certain someone's name too much for him to dismiss it as just coincidence. This might add another clue to the mystery of Mayuzumi Chihiro. He looked up from the book to find Mayuzumi already looming beside him. Just like Tetsuya. He made sure to only ever-so-slightly jerk backwards. But it seemed that despite his attempts, Mayuzumi always caught on, as the older man promptly took a step back.

"You gonna buy that?" The taller man asked, still with that apathetic look on his face, chewing on a piece of gum, evident in the colorful wrapper sticking out his hoodie's pocket. Just like the boy on the cover, save for the baseball bat.  
  
Akashi paused, contemplating his options as he stared some more at the manga's cover.  He absolutely knew that if he were to blatantly ask, he wouldn't get a straight answer out of the cynical man behind him, currently tapping his foot impatiently. So, he turned around to face the other man and answered, or rather, inquired back, "You know the author." It ended up more like a statement than a question.

"No. I don't read much shoujo. I've heard about her, though," Mayuzumi replied. But all through that statement, the older man took to sending Akashi a foreboding glare, as if to say, 'Never speak about this in front of me or anyone else ever again.' And that just proved that, yes, Mayuzumi Chihiro was indeed the (not so) mystery mangaka. But the thing was, the older man was aware that Akashi was aware, and was trying to taunt him with his dull but somehow simultaneously piercing gray eyes. Obviously, ordinary people wouldn't have caught on or even be aware of anything in the first place, especially if it concerned this man.

"Oh, that's a shame. I quite like her art style," Akashi stated, at which Mayuzumi nodded, slightly startled at the sincerity of the compliment. Who said Akashi couldn't be nice once in a while?

They both headed to the cashier in silence, but this time it wasn't awkward or threatening. It was somewhat friendly. Well as friendly as two unsociable shut-ins could get. The atmosphere persisted up until they were back at the flat, both right in front of their doors, keys in hands.

"So..." Mayuzumi started, albeit a bit awkwardly, prompting Akashi to face him. The older man looked flustered, if not a little bit lost on what to say. They stayed in a short pause, both unsure of what to say, and Akashi wasn't absolutely sure that he hated it. It felt warm in an extremely weird way. Even warmer than when he made Daiki cower in fear when he revealed he was yakuza, – though perhaps, that was instead, his maniacal glee of rendering people absolutely speechless. Akashi's idealism led him to believe that he treated everyone equally, that he told them all the same things. But that wasn't quite true, he realized as the comfortable quiet between them persisted. He had already broken the rule a long time ago with Daiki and again, unexpectedly, with Mayuzumi. Some people were more special than others. That was, Akashi concluded, an absolutely important truth in life. It was absolutely untimely, but he learned something today.

Apparently, good atmospheres have their limits, because it was slowly dissipating into awkwardness and that was not good. The redhead wanted to say something to end it but Mayuzumi quickly got the upper hand.

"See you never, Akashi-san," he said, sending Akashi a cold look from behind his shoulder as he closed his door.

That day was the first time Akashi did not end a situation on his terms. It was also the first time he had ever wore the 'scandalized' face, albeit only slight. And only when he finally settled himself in his chair again, clothes changed, sitting comfortably back on his spinny chair, he realized something he probably should have before anything else.

He forgot to throw out the trash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, no excuses. I'm two days late cos I totally forgot. Yes, that's it.
> 
> Anyways. Too. Much. MayuAka. /dies/ Sorry, I did say no pairings but I CANT HELP IT. After knb ended this ship exploded and wow do I ship it. My friend mentioned that Akashi never asks and it's always statements with him, and I thought it was a nice thing to implement, so I edited out every question Akashi asked and turned them into statements haha!
> 
> Next week will feature Puffball-chan! (and lots of MidoKise gay jokes haha) See you then~


	11. Nanodayo-ssu!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about having parrots as your pets was the constant mimicry of speech. In some cases it could be quite endearing but in Midorima and Kise's case it wasn't. Well, at least that was what Midorima thought.

The thing about having parrots as your pets was the constant mimicry of speech. In some cases it could be quite endearing but in Midorima and Kise's case it wasn't. Well, at least that was what Midorima thought. It all happened on a Sunday. All the tenants were gathered in the recreation room. Kise had brought Puffball-chan with him, – even going so far as to buy a perching pole for it in both their room and the recreation room. The blond really held the small creature dearly and to be honest Midorima was starting to not mind its presence either.

The day was going by as usual. Midorima was reading a book, sitting in one of the bean bags and Kise, Aomine, and Kagami were going at it on Mario Kart as Kuroko and Murasakibara watched intently.

Admittedly, the green haired man was quite intrigued by the gameplay and was having a hard time focusing on his book. He almost laughed when he saw Aomine's kart get hit by a blue spiky shell, of which he learned was the most lethal weapon in the game, and fell into last place.

"AH! Damn it! Kagami don't do that!" he yelled, frustrated, only to be rewarded a snicker from the addressed man, who was currently in first place. But the expression soon changed into surprise when Kise, out of nowhere, zoomed past Kagami character and right into the finish line. The blond cheered as the other two let out shouts of agony.

"Yes! I win again!" The victor cried, jumping up and down excitedly and another cry with an eerily similar pitch saying the same thing could be heard in the background, but that was just the usual. Midorima went back to his book, while the other three chattered a little. All was normal, until...

"-nanodayo."

"Huh what'd you say Midorimacchi?" Kise asked, but the said man never said anything and so told the blond exactly that. Kuroko, who petting said animal since… nobody knew when, apologized and said he prompted it to say something. They all dismissed it as that and carried on with whatever they were doing.

After the first week, the bird had, in fact, picked up on both Midorima and Kise's speech quirks quite quickly and so, was often heard mimicking them in the exact same pitch. It caused quite some confusion during the first few days but they got used to it, albeit still getting disoriented once or twice when they were particularly engrossed with their own activities. The bird's ever-growing vocabulary consisted of, but wasn't limited to

"Yes I win!" thanks to Kise always triumphing on Mario Kart, "But Midorimacchi!!!", "Shut up, Kise!", "Kise! Do your laundry!", "Aw, c’mon Midorimacchi!!", and of course their classic " -nanodayo" and "-ssu".

So, indeed, all was normal. Kagami, Kise, and Aomine delved into the topic of parrots in Disney movies and Murasakibara was close to falling asleep on his bean bag. Until the moment in which something nobody ever predicted happened.

"Nanodayo-ssu!"

In shock, Midorima especially, everyone, including the ever apathetic Murasakibara, turned to Kuroko who, in turn was staring dumbfounded at the bird.

"Nanodayo-ssu!" It repeated, flapping its wings in what seemed to be joy. The most profound thing about the word was that the first half was in Midorima's deep bass pitch and the other half in Kise's high and slightly squeaky pitch. The two shared a look, both seeming equally 'scandalized', for lack of a better term, and simultaneously, they joined the rest in staring at the innocent looking creature, which was tilting its head in question for the lack of human response.

The silence didn't last long, though, as Aomine's boisterous laughter echoed through the room.

"Bahahahahah!! Is that what Midorima and Kise's lovechild would sound like?!" He suggested in between laughs and pants. All in the room started to break down in laughter, even Murasakibara. But to the mentioned two, it was probably the most horrifying thing they have ever heard. Kise stood up and tried to voice a complaint within the bellows of laughter, but for once, he wasn't loud enough to gain attention. In fact, the joke got worse as Kagami, still laughing, shakily walked up to the bird and dramatically proclaimed, pointing to it, "I dub thee Kimidorima Ryotaro!"

As unpleasantly predicted, everyone, save for the two victims, guffawed even louder, Aomine going so far as to roll around on the carpet. Kagami laughed so hard he was crying and even Kuroko was clutching his stomach in pain as he laughed without his usual emotional restrictions. Murasakibara, being his usual self, recovered quickly from it, but even he was visibly quivering as he was probably trying to hold back a second bout of laughter. All Midorima could do was watch from the sidelines, petrified in his seat, eyes like saucers and mouth agape. He briefly recalled the first time he had this expression on his face, also related to Puffball-chan, though more to its previous owner than it itself, but his mind was quickly redirected back to the current event, as Kise declared, more out of frustration than anything else,

"But Midorimacchi already has someone else!!"

All eyes went to the green haired man. He was going to murder Kise, he was sure of it. Kuroko, the audacity of him, prolonged the joke by inquiring, "Midorima-kun, I didn't think you were the type to cheat. Poor Kise-kun…"

After the statement, the rest started ganging up on him, loudly asking about his 'affair' and a chorus of "How could you!" assaulted his tired ears.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that!!" Kise's desperate cries could be heard among the commotion, but again, nobody paid mind to it. If Midorima weren't in the brink of exploding, he would've tried to back the blond up, never mind his pride. Unfortunately, that was exactly what was about to happen. He felt hot blood rush to his head and as a form of self-control, he repeatedly recited the function of every cell organelle in his head, blocking out the constant harassment. He didn't really know what expression was on his face, but regardless, it was working as the voices around him started to fade out.

"Hey, I think we should stop. Midorima-kun looks like he's about to lose it," he heard Kuroko say. With that the others quieted down.

"Oh thank god, Kurokocchi! You guys seriously have no idea how scary Midorimacchi is when he gets mad!" Kise said soon after. The times he had gotten mad at Kise weren't few, but he knew exactly which incident the blond was referring to. Midorima dared to open his eyes, – which he didn't realize were closed in the first place, to observe the conversation. Kise still looked quite bitter about the previous incident, but it seemed like the rest had let it go, at least for now, and were engaging in mundane chatter.

"I'm going back upstairs," Midorima announced, standing up a little bit shakily, because he was, in fact, tired of interacting with people, the ones in this room especially. He half expected the others to crack a joke about that as well, but they all just nodded, wishing 'see you soon' and 'catch you later'.

"Oh and Kise," he added before exiting, "Call Takao and ask how to make that _thing_ unlearn words. It's getting ridiculous."

"Kay!" He heard Kise answer in his usual happy tone before closing the door behind him.

Oh, how disheartened he was when he learned, later that day, that it was, in fact, nearly impossible to make a parrot unlearn words unless the owners themselves completely stop saying them. Their speech quirks, being a part of their conversations since they were children, were also impossible to stop. Old habits just didn’t go away. So much for a peaceful life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm late again. Excuse: I was trying out some video editing. 
> 
> I was learning about cell organelles when writing this, so yea. Midorima's coping methods are very nerdy. As expected of him. Gay jokes abound? Haha I had fun writing this one. I was laughing too much when I first got the idea.
> 
> Eyy for those who were wondering, Kimodrima Ryotaro is REAL! The artist for KuroBasu Replace+, Takashi Ichirou, drew him on their twitter: twitter.com/iccccchirooooou/status/566480969314484228 [He is actually saying Nanodayo-ssu here!]  
> Comic strip featuring him by the same artist: forazzzora.tumblr.com/post/129782267132
> 
> See you next week~


	12. Aomine Gets An Upgrade?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomine does not like his job and, just in the nick of time, Kise happens to be hiring. //warning THE MOST GAY CHAPTER in this fic, proceed with caution//

"Ugh, I hate my job," complained one Aomine Daiki on a certain Friday evening. It was about 10 pm and he had just arrived home from his later than usual shift. He had no idea what persuaded high school him to even think that being a cop was the slightest bit enjoyable. Way too young troublemakers were everywhere these days and violence seemed to be proliferating between students. It was as troublesome as it could get. The problem was, he liked that sort of 'protecting people' job but being a cop covered an area wider than what he was capable of caring for.

Currently, he was lounging on the sofa in the recreation room, not even bothering to change out of his slightly damp clothes, watching the only other person in the room sitting right nextposit, Kise, play Super Smash Bros. and winning. The blond was especially good at all arcade themed games and it really pissed Aomine off, as he couldn't help but audibly click his tongue when the victory screen came on and Kise pumped a triumphal fist into the air. He seemed to be really engrossed in the game so Aomine was taken aback when the blond looked to him and asked, "You hate your job Aominecchi?"

The tanned man hesitated before answering, "I... I'm not sure. I like this type of job. I feel like I'm doing some good for somebody and it's great to feel needed. Just..."

"Hm?" Kise tilted his head slightly in question, waiting patiently while Aomine searched for the appropriate words. He didn't know why he was venting to Kise, who loved his job to bits, of all people.

"I just don't think I can do it for one block, let alone a whole district. I need something more... focused..?" Aomine ended hesitantly, not really sure what he was saying anymore. He was sure Kise would laugh at him because, well, it was Kise and he didn't take a lot of things seriously. But the expected reaction never came, as Kise started thinking indicated by his pointer finger placed on his chin with a dumb looking 'thinking face'. Seriously ironic. Thinking faces were supposed to make people look more intelligent, or at least thoughtful, right? But maybe Aomine had been living with Akashi for too long and his standard had been grossly distorted.

"Ah! I know! Just quit your job!!" Kise suggested loudly, his face bright like he had thought of the best idea in the world. It was the opposite, though. Aomine picked up a random magazine lying on the table and lightly smacked the blond's head with it.

"That's fucking stupid, Kise!" Aomine yelled, half tempted to pull the blond's ear like he would a child. Now he knew how his childhood friend, Momoi, felt when dealing with his stupidity. Added with the fact that she also happened to be Kise's god damn manager (which Aomine didn't even know about till just recently due to her reluctance in disclosing Kise's actual identity), she must have experienced a lot of close-to-imploding moments. Props to her for being patient with the both of them.

"I'm not done yet, Ahomine!" Kise yelled back just as loudly, smacking the tanned man's back a little bit too roughly. Aomine cried in pain but the blond didn't seem to care. With a stupid pout on his face, Kise continued.

"I might have just the right thing for you.... y'know if you really really wanna quit being a cop of course..." The usually overconfident model ended apprehensively, eyes astray and cheeks tinted with the slightest pink. Aomine seriously failed to see what Kise found so embarrassing. He had some inkling as to what it was and he may as well test it out just to screw with the guy.

"As nice as it sound, I don't wanna be a porn star Kise." He stated, imitating Tetsu's straight face as best as he could. It only got another much harder smack from the blond, whose cheeks only got redder. The sight amused Aomine to no end as he couldn't help snickering at the other's misery. Oh great, he sounded just like Akashi.

"No no no! Aominecchi you perv!" The model shouted. It way too loud for this late hour of the night, but then again this _was_ Kise Ryota. Still with that totally uncute pout, Kise quickly faced away from Aomine, arms crossed on his chest in an angry, almost defensive manner. He seemed adamant on giving the tanned man the silent treatment as all of Aomine's sorry attempts of apologizing were more or less futile. He had to come up with something to make the blond talk quickly because, damn, was he curious about the job offer. He briefly thought that inflicting physical pain would be the answer, since he observed that Kise seemed to like that sort of thing, but thought no more of it. That will probably only make it worse.

So he waited. For what seemed like hours, they stayed in silence, the only audible sounds being the forgotten Super Smash Bros. title screen music. The upbeat and happy tune was sort of ironic, given the circumstance. Kise never budged from his spot, opting to stare into space, because turning his head now would mean losing. Neither did Aomine. If he got too impatient and just left, he might never know what the blond was trying to say. Besides, if he did that, Kise would be the victor of this 'game'. There wasn't exactly a win-win solution. But somebody had to give up (preferrably Kise), because Aomine was sleepy as hell and his butt was starting to get uncomfortable due to sitting in the same position for too long.

It was really obvious Kise was losing his patience. He started to tap his foot on the floor repeatedly. The thumps of his foot were getting louder and faster by each second and it really was starting to annoy Aomine. Seriously, he felt like he could go insane, what with that title screen music looping for the umpteenth time in the background, and so did Kise, if his restless shifting and foot tapping and loud breathing were anything to go by. Honestly, it might be his limit. So he decided to be the mature one and end it all, because the blond was obviously too much of a child to do it himself.

Just as Aomine opened his mouth to speak, Kise beat him to the chase with a sudden deep breath. It momentarily startled the tanned man and, using the second of hesitation, Kise spoke softly, still facing away.

"....ard."

To tell the truth, Aomine didn't have the energy to listen and decipher such a small voice from a usually loud as fuck guy so he asked, quite loudly, "What?"

At that, Kise abruptly turned to Aomine and, with his long model arms, reached for both the soon-to-not-be cop's shoulders, shaking him frantically, quite possibly flustered and most likely still mad.

"Bodyguard, Aominecchi! _Bo-dy-guard_!" He shouted, literally in Aomine's ear (oh god, they were ringing). In a defensive stance, the dark haired man blocked Kise from coming any closer, flinging both his arms at the side the blond was coming from and leaning as far as the couch allowed. Both men's weight caused the piece of furniture to rock to the side and that was when the two decided to start getting serious, sitting back upright and avoiding the untimely death of the sofa. And their wallets.

"Bodyguard? Whose?" Aomine asked after a short silence.

Kise answered hesitantly, never meeting Aomine's eyes. "Mine. I only have one. And he's quitting in a week. His mother is sick back in his hometown and... well..."

Huh. That was fairly convenient. It seemed like a job he could commit more to.  It was for Kise, a... friend, after all. Besides, if he accepted the offer, he may be able to see Satsuki on a close to daily basis. His schedule wouldn't be so jam packed and, after hearing of the hectic mess that was showbiz, might be more fun (minus the paparazzi). And less lonely.

Ah, so that's what it was.

.... Coincidentally, it was around the end of the month, the perfect time to quit.

Aomine was a fairly spontaneous person. It was a habit he had brought from his childhood. Of course, it wasn't as severe as his high school self's spontaneity. And Kise seemed to recognize that. Because there was no offer of "I'll give you some time to think about it". Instead, the blond was just watching him carefully, waiting. His face, for once, was without his trademark puppy eyes, instead replaced with hope and a sliver of desperation. He really wanted Aomine to work for, no, _with_ him. Considering the amount of other tough "macho" guys who'd probably take the job in a heartbeat (because _Kise Ryota_ , why else?), it touched Aomine that Kise _personally_ asked him.

"... Ok." Aomine eventually said after a long silence.

"Wha-? You'll do it?!" Kise cried. For a second, the dark haired man could have sworn he saw tears glittering in the blond's eyes. _Che, what a drama queen_. But despite those thoughts, it took him all his power to stop himself from smiling.

"Yea, what else, idiot?" Again, Aomine smacked Kise's head with his palm, but the karate chop was more light and fond than anything else. "... ‘Sides, working with you sounds... nice..." Aomine continued reluctantly but honestly, averting his blue eyes from Kise's piercing ambers.

"Aominechhi!" Kise yelled, probably waking up some of the neighbors, practically tackling the other in a full force hug. Once again the sofa rocked to their side as they scuffled, Aomine to get Kise off and as far away as possible, and Kise, the opposite, to squeeze him to death in his peculiarly strong arms, trying to press their cheeks together in what everyone has unanimously agreed to call "the blond nuzzle".

"Agh, Kise get off!! The sofa! _The sofa!_ " Aomine yelled in almost panic, pushing the other more forcefully as said furniture started to sway, precariously leaning on only two of its four intended legs. The image of paying Akashi for a new sofa (authentic leather, _ugh_ ) gave him the chills.

"Boo~ Okay.." the blond pouted, finally giving up his pursuit and properly sitting back down, prompting the piece of furniture to land back on its other two legs with a thump.

"Hey, it's ok. You'll have plenty of time with me when I'm out there trying to get your fanboys off of you," Aomine said sarcastically, childishly sticking his tongue out for good measure. But instead of the expected reply of "FanGIRLS, Aominecchi!!”, the blond only said with a bright grin,

"You're right, Aominecchi! I just _know_ you're gonna protect me good! I trust you!"

Aomine stilled, red tainting his cheeks. Because who on earth could keep a straight face after a declaration like that?

The only thing he could muster was a weak nod as Kise quickly, but unhurriedly got up and left the room, saying that he had an early job tomorrow.

Yes, Aomine would make it perfectly sure that he repay his friend's trust. That was the least he could do, right? He hadn't realized he had been drowning out all other sources of sound until the god damn Super Smash Bros. theme slowly faded in his ears, probably on its gazillionth loop that night. It just totally ruined the mood.

"Ah shut up won't you?" He asked, thinking he must've been going crazy because the game was inanimate and can't hear him, but, fuck, he was too happy to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE TWO (or was it three?) WEEK DELAY! Midterms, remedials, and KHR are to blame. So I made this slightly longer (and a lot gayer) than usual chapter to make it up! I hope you liked it.
> 
> This is still within friendship boundaries right? I think that both Aomine and KIse are quite touchy feely with close friends. 
> 
> With this lateness, I have brought more news. This story is ending, precisely on chapter 15. This is the longest thing I have ever made and I hope you guys will stick to it till the end, despite my lateness *bows* See you next week!


End file.
